


Text Me Something Funny

by EpicKiya722



Series: Kiya's Epic Verse [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Chatting & Messaging, Drama & Romance, F/F, F/M, Friendship, Gen, High School, Humor, M/M, Movie References, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Period-Typical Racism, Period-Typical Sexism, Pop Culture, Racism, Teen Romance, Teenagers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-29
Updated: 2019-04-06
Packaged: 2019-09-02 00:59:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 8,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16776451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EpicKiya722/pseuds/EpicKiya722
Summary: Life isn't fun without a bit of absurd, yet funny as hell messages from the people you hang around with.





	1. Almost Caught Hands

**Author's Note:**

> AStarisBorn - Amija
> 
> random@itsbest - Dana
> 
> CoffeePlz - Nathan
> 
> DollFace - Sakuri
> 
> fightme - Jayden

AStarisBorn: lets all b honest

AStarisBorn: seeing jay almost punch that guy is kinda funny

fightme: bitch would have caught these hands if Nat didnt come 2 his rescue

CoffeePlz: oh please, fuck him

CoffeePlz: i just don't u 2 get suspended

CoffeePlz: who's gonna tolerate math class with me if ur gone, girl?

fightme: ok ur right

DollFace: but it was funny 😂

fightme: i always wanted 2 b a comedian

random@itsbest: y did u try 2 punch him?

fightme: well he said some shit about u

fightme: n i wasn't having it

random@itsbest: what the fuck did he say?

fightme: let's just say it was NSFW

random@itsbest: okay who is this guy?

random@itsbest: n y did i choose this day to get sick? 😑

AStarisBorn: that dude...

CoffeePlz: Eiden

random@itsbest: oh... ew

DollFace: he has a major thing for u

DollFace: i know he does

random@itsbest: well sucks 4 him becuz i don't feel the same

random@itsbest: now that other guy he hangs with

random@itsbest: Kevin

AStarisBorn: oh he's a fine piece of dick

DollFace: hee hee

fightme: he actually gave Eiden that 'dude, wtf' face 2

fightme: and then apologized

random@itsbest: i want 2 have his babies

CoffeePlz: sucks that u don't have the proper tools 4 that, huh?

random@itsbest: if i did...

DollFace: keep it pg thank you

random@itsbest: i think its the meds

CoffeePlz: u want some of that tea u like?

random@itsbest: yes

CoffeePlz: okay

fightme: wait r u going to that one coffee place we like 2 go 2?

CoffeePlz: yes

CoffeePlz: i can pick up everyone something 2 if u want

AStarisBorn: just meet us all back @ Dana's so we all can have a friday movie night with him

random@itsbest: i don't deserve u ppl

DollFace: we need u in this squad

fightme: u else is gonna roast some folks with me?

fightme: or slay all day every day?

random@itsbest: ...

random@itsbest: u just want me 2 get better so i can do ur eyeliner

fightme: out of every 1 of us here ur the only 1 that hasn't poked me in the eye trying to put eyeliner on me

AStarisBorn: i did it one time!

AStarisBorn: becuz u moved!

fightme: well because it tickled

AStarisBorn: that is no excuse u animal

DollFace: hey um we haven't told Nat what we all wanted

CoffeePlz: ur usuals? amija - caramel latte, dana - green boba tea, sakuri - raspberry and chocolate frappe, jayden - ginger tea

AStarisBorn: u stans a god

CoffeePlz: ur 2 kind


	2. Not the Jelly or Oblivious Type

fightme: is it me or...?

random@itsbest: what?

AStarisBorn: dude yes

CoffeePlz: what's going on?

DollFace: oh u haven't heard?

CoffeePlz: heard what?

random@itsbest: does this has to do with someone we know?

AStarisBorn: we overheard ashlynn saying how she got over her crush on Kevin becuz Kevin has sights on someone else

CoffeePlz: oh?! tea! 😏

DollFace: apparently he was going 2 ask someone out but they weren't here Friday

random@itsbest: ooohhh that's so sad

random@itsbest: i wonder who's the lucky person

fightme: u got 2 b kidding me!

AStarisBorn: he'll figure it out

AStarisBorn: on another note, Ashlynn found her attraction 2 someone else

DollFace: i wonder who the guy or girl is

fightme: they're lucky, she's awesome

random@itsbest: she's such a sweetheart

random@itsbest: like i want 2 adopt that girl

CoffeePlz: 2 late

random@itsbest: BITCH!

CoffeePlz: ha ha!

fightme: i would get with that though

fightme: like if i was 4 certain she was into girls...

AStarisBorn: u will corrupt her

fightme: i talk of kinks one time n suddenly i'm a naughty naughty girl

DollFace: wait u aren't, jayden?

fightme: read my username

random@itsbest: savage

CoffeePlz: but seriously I would have thought Kevin n Ashlynn would have got together

random@itsbest: i agree on that

AStarisBorn: aren't u the same guy who wants Kevin's babies?

random@itsbest: hey, he's attractive. a whole package. but that doesn't mean i'll play the jelly role

DollFace: the words of a wise one here

random@itsbest: well i mean it

random@itsbest: i don't own him so...

CoffeePlz: can i hug u?

random@itsbest: given i got over my cold days ago i doubt u can get sick right now so yes

DollFace: i want hugs

AStarisBorn: I GOT YOU! 😎

DollFace: YAY!

fightme: but 4 real, Dana, r u the least bit interested in who Kevin is crushing on?

random@itsbest: a little, but I'm not going 2 fret over it

CoffeePlz: i might b the mom friend but he's the mature one

random@itsbest: no... NO!! don't say that!

fightme: DANA THE MATURE ONE!!!

random@itsbest: u can eat my entire ass, Jayden!

AStarisBorn: there he is!


	3. Add-Ins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ashii - Ashlynn  
> kevin - Kevin (Of Course!)

**_AStarisBorn > fightme_ **

AStarisBorn: u will not believe this!

AStarisBorn: but it's our time 2 finally threaten someone about one of our precious babies

fightme: sakuri, dana or ashlynn?

AStarisBorn: Dana!

fightme: go on

AStarisBorn: Kevin asked me if Dana was seeing anyone n I told him no

AStarisBorn: and he got this really cute happy puppy dog look in his face so i ask him is he feeling for dana

AStarisBorn: n he's like yes n wants 2 ask him out but he needs help becuz he's a hopeless romantic n doesn't know how he should go about asking Dana

fightme: we're going to help him?

AStarisBorn: fuck yeah we r

fightme: i'm with this 100% 😀

AStarisBorn: i think we should add him 2 the chat

fightme: n ashlynn

AStarisBorn: let's ask the others

* * *

  
fightme: we're adding ashlynn n kevin

CoffeePlz: the fact that i like those two i'm not even going 2 protest

DollFace: add them!

random@itsbest: wait... for real?

AStarisBorn: problem?

random@itsbest: no!

random@itsbest: just...

CoffeePlz: Dana i'm sure u can control ur imaginary ovaries around Kevin

random@itsbest: shut up

AStarisBorn: doing it!

**_AStarisBorn has added Ashii and kevin_ **

fightme: Kevin, u have a lame username

kevin: i couldn't think of anything n i still haven't

kevin: don't judge me

Ashii: hi!

CoffeePlz: hi girl I'm going 2 adopt

Ashii: Nat, right?

CoffeePlz: yes!

DollFace: he really is set on adopting u

Ashii: really now?

CoffeePlz: i have the adoption papers ready

random@itsbest: he's the mom friend so it's an impulse 4 him

AStarisBorn: he's the Bruce Wayne 2 this JL

kevin: hoo hoo!

CoffeePlz: btw

CoffeePlz: AStarisBorn - Amija, random@itsbest - Dana, DollFace - Sakuri, fightme- jayden

kevin: after the other day, i understand y jayden's name fits

fightme: he gets me

kevin: i have a lot of respect 4 u

kevin: i stans u

fightme: ...

fightme: i'm adopting u now

kevin: btw, Dana, u weren't there but i just want 2 apologize for what eiden said

kevin: it's... not appropriate 😐

random@itsbest: aaaawwww, thank u, Kevin ❤

kevin: it's no problem

* * *

  
**_kevin > AStarisBorn_ **

kevin: he sent me a heart

kevin: i'm going 2 combust

AStarisBorn: calm ur testicles, dude

kevin: plz tell me that's just something he just does

AStarisBorn: he barely gives out hearts

AStarisBorn: even when Nat brings us food

AStarisBorn: he likes food

AStarisBorn: n trust me he likes u

kevin: ur not playing me right?

AStarisBorn: oh this is something I wouldn't dare joke about

kevin: he likes me?! 😲

AStarisBorn: he wants 2 have ur babies n would if he had the right equipment 😉

kevin: can i marry him?

AStarisBorn: yes, but first take him out to dinner first

* * *

  
DollFace: but i honestly think the coach is a demon

CoffeePlz: which one?

DollFace: freaking coach hans

random@itsbest: agreed! he's a demon

random@itsbest: i bet if i throw salt at him he'll freak out

AStarisBorn: i'm not defending him but i think i would freak out if some1 came at me with salt

kevin: salty

fightme: sakuri, maybe u need 2 lay off supernatural 4 a while

DollFace: bitch wat? no!

fightme: i'm joking

fightme: no one can never have enough supernatural

random@itsbest: yas queen yas!

Ashii: but let's all b honest here

Ashii: the only freaky thing about that show is how the winchester brothers manage to draw perfect ass circles every single time

CoffeePlz: that's why we never see neither of them draw it onscreen

CoffeePlz: i just wish i had sam's ability 2 always have wifi

AStarisBorn: he the wifi king

fightme: i wish had dean's abilities to attract women

Ashii: u like girls?

fightme: big lesbian here

Ashii: awesomeness

* * *

  
**_Ashii > CoffeePlz_ **

Ashii: idk if u know this

Ashii: but i got over my crush with kevin becuz i developed feels 4 jayden becuz she's amazing

Ashii: n finding out she likes girls is really having me scream endlessly in my mind right now

CoffeePlz: aaawww!

Ashii: u got 2 help me

Ashii: i want 2 date her

CoffeePlz: this. is. PERFECTION!

CoffeePlz: i will def help u out

Ashii: YAY!


	4. Super Squad

  
DollFace: i had a random thought

kevin: wat's up?

AStarisBorn: i got 2 hear this

DollFace: hush, Smithson

CoffeePlz: i thought random thoughts were Dana's thing

random@itsbest: it is

DollFace: anyway!

DollFace: i was thinking about if we were a hero squad or even a group of villains

DollFace: n Nat is still the Mom Friend

CoffeePlz: i won't even argue on that

fightme: i would totally have America Chavez's powers

Ashii: ooh i like her!

fightme: i would love to punch reality

random@itsbest: controlling water

random@itsbest: n electric magic

AStarisBorn: so... you trying to be Storm or Aquaman?

random@itsbest: imma trying 2 b Aqualad

AStarisBorn: that's right!

AStarisBorn: i forgot he can do that

AStarisBorn: but i think I would have vixen's powers

kevin: being beautiful n badass?

AStarisBorn: that 2!

CoffeePlz: i really don't know what i'll go for

kevin: atom's powers. shrinking and enlarging i can do

Ashii: can i just go for the magic of dc's enchantress, raven, scarlet witch and zatanna?

random@itsbest: i will allow this

DollFace: Katanna's badass sword skills or an Amazon

DollFace: or hell, even Deadpool's abilities

DollFace: u know how many paper cuts i get?

fightme: nobody told you 2 cutting yourself on paper

DollFace: fight me

fightme: i will

DollFace: let's do this right now!

fightme: back way alley beside that flower shop

DollFace: ten mins

fightme: bring it!

AStarisBorn: stop that

DollFace: fine

fightme: ... okay

CoffeePlz: i admire that Amija plays the rational one 2

AStarisBorn: yup

kevin: wait Dana can still be Aquaman

random@itsbest: how?

kevin: aqualad becomes aquaman in yj in season 3

kevin: u didn't know that?

fightme: I didn't!!!

random@itsbest: i seriously need to catch up. i haven't started season 3 yet

Ashii: ... any1 seen the spider-verse yet?

AStarisBorn: YUS! WIG SNATCHED!!!

fightme: EXACTLY!!!

kevin: the spiderfam is literally my role model

random@itsbest: Jeff is my dad. like he is seriously how my dad is when it comes to the 'i love u'

DollFace: isn't ur dad a police officer though?

random@itsbest: firefighter

DollFace: right

fightme: aquaman movie. tea.

CoffeePlz: i don't know who to feel attracted to. that movie is spectacular

random@itsbest: i never wanted 2 b an atlantean so bad

AStarisBorn: i honestly think ur team aquafam

random@itsbest: ... actually yes. #AquaFam

random@itsbest: they're so underrated

Ashii: i feel like that 2

Ashii: anyone else want a team-up with duke thomas and miles morales?

CoffeePlz: YUUUUSSSS!!!

AStarisBorn: my precious bois

fightme: Marvel and DC better be listening

DollFace: that deserves a series

random@itsbest: wait, wait... add virgil hawkins

kevin: i would so watch/read that

Ashii: r all of us really into superheroes and comics?

AStarisBorn: yus

DollFace: uh huh

CoffeePlz: yeah

kevin: i'm wearing a flash tee right now

fightme: n i'm writing fanfiction for that later

random@itsbest: i watch more comic movies and shows than anything a week

Ashii: just 2 b clear


	5. Feels

random@itsbest: i don't appreciate having feelings

random@itsbest: i feel attacked

Ashii: rn't u in class? get off ur phone

random@itsbest: first off, no i won't

random@itsbest: y r u on ur phone?

Ashii: office aid

Ashii: i currently have nothing to do

DollFace: also Dana n i r done with our work n our teacher is 'do what u want just don't be loud' because it was a lot of work

kevin: cool

kevin: but i want 2 know what's going on with Dana

kevin: did someone hurt u?

kevin: do i have 2 throw hands?

random@itsbest: no one hurt me, kev

random@itsbest: sweet of u to care thou

kevin: becuz i have a soft spot 4 u

kevin: but seriously what's up?

random@itsbest: i'm listening 2 some music right now and i have 'know' by syd on repeat for a while now

random@itsbest: it's seriously a beautiful song

random@itsbest: like why do this 2 me?

AStarisBorn: some1 take Dana's phone

random@itsbest: then i can't talk in the chat, Amija!

CoffeePlz: i know how u feel, D

CoffeePlz: nights like this by kehlani got my wig snatched

DollFace: love that song

fightme: saaaame

fightme: current my anthem

Ashii: i'm always gay for kehlani

fightme: how about that song body count? by jessie reyez ft normani and kehlani? also my anthem

AStarisBorn: HELL YUS!

kevin: even i love that song

random@itsbest: can i just say that carlos valdes coming out with more music with be the greatest time of my life?

CoffeePlz: Dana knows what's up!

kevin: y is that name familar to me?

random@itsbest: ever seen the cw show the flash?

kevin: ... no. heard of it but no.

DollFace: u just made Dana disturb the class. everyone is giving ME weird looks because of what u just said

kevin: i'm so sorry

kevin: i just never got around watching the show

random@itsbest: the fuck is your problem?

kevin: what?

random@itsbest: guess what we're seeing rn bitch!

kevin: dana

random@itsbest: i thought we were friends

CoffeePlz: the fact i got that reference is amazing

AStarisBorn: the fact that Kev went along with it is even better

kevin: i didn't realize it was a meme

random@itsbest: seriously we're watching that together

random@itsbest: n then u'll understand

fightme: just know you'll cry, you'll laugh, you'll smile and hate the world

kevin: ...

kevin: i'm ready

kevin: dana, we'll start friday after school

random@itsbest: agreed

* * *

**_random@itsbest > CoffeePlz_ **

random@itsbest: NATHAN!

CoffeePlz: yes u just agreed 2 a possible cuddle session with Kevin

CoffeePlz: i know, i know, child

random@itsbest: i'm going to explode

CoffeePlz: plz don't

random@itsbest: damn y is he so hot?

CoffeePlz: i really think he feels the same way about u

random@itsbest: don't pull the 'probably feels the same about u' thing

CoffeePlz: n don't play the oblivious type

* * *

DollFace: do we all have the same lunch today?

Ashii: if it's lunch b then yus

kevin: i have b 2

random@itsbest: same

AStarisBorn: same

fightme: YUS!

AStarisBorn: excited much?

CoffeePlz: i have b 2

DollFace: okay, just being clear

DollFace: baked cookies and i want u all 2 try them

random@itsbest: hm. listened to some good music, found my favorite hoodie that i'm currently wearing n Sakuri is offering cookies?

random@itsbest: crops watered, skin clear

CoffeePlz: don't forget u n Kevin will be binge watching Flash

kevin: yeah, put that on the list, Dana!

random@itsbest: it's on the list, Kevin!

* * *

  
**_random@itsbest > CoffeePlz_ **

random@itsbest: don't make me fight u

CoffeePlz: u love me


	6. Ugh... People

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's talk of racial and sexist issues in this chapter. Just warning you.

random@itsbest: i'm so done with ppl!

DollFace: same, dude, same

kevin: there's a reason why i don't hang out with certain ppl anymore

kevin: that was unneccesary bs to say n not funny

kevin: n ridiculous to get mad becuz u didn't think the "joke" was funny

Ashii: did something happen?

AStarisBorn: at lunch today

DollFace: u know how I brought cookies 4 us to have 4 lunch, rite?

Ashii: uh huh

Ashii: i was gone for the first 10 minutes of lunch since i had to take something 2 the office, but i came back n u looked pretty pissed

Ashii: didn't want 2 ask then becuz i wanted u 2 have time 2 calm down first

DollFace: n this is why i adore u

DollFace: okay so while you were gone some kid probably thought it was ok 2 say what he said 2 me

DollFace: like he's walking past n sees me opening my container n what does he say?

random@itsbest: he asked Sakuri what does she have and she just told him cookies n he goes "what? fortune cookies?"

AStarisBorn: then he laughs like Sakuri was supposed 2 join in with him

DollFace: i told him 2 go away becuz 1, it's not. 2, that "joke" was offensive

DollFace: n then when i told him how i didn't like the "joke" he got mad like i should have liked it n tried "explaining" why i should have liked it n i told him that it was offensive

kevin: i told him 2 leave if he knew what was good 4 him n he was at least smart enough 2 do that

Ashii: omg, i hate ppl like that!

Ashii: reminds me of the time when someone asked if i knew who KodakBlack (im sure i spelt that wrong) was n i told him no n he gave me the "but ur black" thing

Ashii: one, i don't listen 2 rap music like that.

Ashii: i lived in France 4 years so there aren't going to b certain ppl i haven't heard of

Ashii: three, sometimes it takes 4ever 4 me 2 find out who is since i'm not 2 big on celeb news either

Ashii: though discovering kehlani is like the best thing that's ever happen 2 me

AStarisBorn: Ashii, i sympathize so much with that

AStarisBorn: let me tell ya'll how someone told me "but ur black" when i told them i don't like hot sauce

kevin: i may not b black but even i think that's ridiculous to say to someone

kevin: ur taste in food should have nothing 2 do with ur race

kevin: i hope that someone better not tell me i should like pineapple a lot becuz i'm hawaiian

kevin: i might punch them in the face

CoffeePlz: i thought jayden was going 2 that a couple of months ago when someone told her 2 go back 2 mexico

fightme: all becuz i walked past her... guys, my fam is not even from mexico

fightme: i'm puerto rican! how m i suppose to go back to a country that neither me or my family has never been!

fightme: i swear some ppl r just urgh!

* * *

random@itsbest: u know what really sucks?

random@itsbest: how disgusting it is when people can't let my parents b

random@itsbest: becuz they're an interracial couple

CoffeePlz: what the fuck happened?!

fightme: plz tell us

random@itsbest: as u all know my dad is a white man n my mom is a black woman

random@itsbest: so they decide 2 go to the grocery store n i tag along with them

random@itsbest: my mom was in one aisle getting something n my dad was with me but i guess that even though i'm almost just as pale as him (just a tad bit darker) n i was putting items in the cart he was standing next i guess this lady thought i wasn't his kid

kevin: i already can tell that the lady did something really stupid

random@itsbest: n ur right

random@itsbest: she goes up 2 him n starts flirting n my dad looks visibly uncomfortable

random@itsbest: just "lady, plz stop" n even is showing off his wedding ring n i guess she either didn't care or was ignoring it

random@itsbest: so he politely POLITELY tells the lady "miss i m married. plz stop flirting with me"

random@itsbest: she looked disappointed but continued on

random@itsbest: eventually my mom comes back n sees it going on n walks straight up 2 my dad and loops her arm with hers n kisses his cheek n the lady goes "excuse u, he's married" like that's going 2 stop my mom like it didn't stop her. for real?

random@itsbest: but becuz my mom is a true goddess

AStarisBorn: she is

random@itsbest: she goes "i know, i was the one who married him" n dad is just grinning and we walk off leaving the lady

DollFace: wow. i love how ur dad is just so proud of his wife

random@itsbest: oh, he is. they're a real power couple.

random@itsbest: now it doesn't even stop there!

kevin: omg, no!

random@itsbest: yus!

random@itsbest: now i didn't think the lady would b so low as 2 follow us the whole time becuz she got shut down but i guess she is.

random@itsbest: my parents r ignoring her n everything, just continue shopping. now we get 2 the checkout line n she stands in line right behind us! n she was like so bold enough 2 start making remarks like how my dad is just a "turnout" or how my mom is "ugly" n trying not 2 b all bold but loud enough so they can hear

random@itsbest: like my mom is standing right there n the whole time my dad is giving this lady the "plz don't start anything becuz today won't b ur day" look

random@itsbest: eventually its our turn n my mom n i put the items up so the cashier could ring them in while our dad helps bag the stuff n put in it our cart

random@itsbest: n then as wild, wrong n bold as this damn woman is she goes "hurry up, u black bitch" n pushes her cart right into my mom

random@itsbest: everyone sees this n the cashier stops what she was doing. i stop what i'm doing. my dad stops what he is doing.

random@itsbest: my mom just still calmly turns n tells the lady "miss, plz don't hit me with ur cart n stop harassing me n my family".

random@itsbest: n i suppose this bitch wanted a wild angry reaction out of my mom because she calls her a "black bitch" again n starts screaming at her. my dad takes my mom n put her up front with me n tells the lady she needs to calm down because she is embarrassing herself

AStarisBorn: just saying she really was

random@itsbest: oh yeah she was! this woman is all like "i'm not embarrassing myself" and "u need to hurry up" and "i haven't been harassing u" n this man, older dude goes "yes u have. i've watched u follow this couple n their son around the store. ur harassing them n have no right 2 insult this woman n her family because she hasn't done anything to you" n the cashier tells the lady she has to go, to get out the store before security comes to get her

random@itsbest: n the lady still goes on n on n eventually security does come n escorts her out the store.

random@itsbest: n the security guard tells the lady "i hope u know u can't back to this store" and plans on putting a charge on this woman for harrassment n assault

kevin: is ur mom doing okay?

random@itsbest: yeah, she's doing okay. dad took her out 4 a movie while i chill at home

CoffeePlz: that's good becuz i adore that woman. she's like an aunt to me

random@itsbest: well given how she, ur mom n Amija's dads r besties...

Ashii: hold it! Amija... dads?

AStarisBorn: oh right! Yeah, i'm adopted. 2 dads

AStarisBorn: can't use ur momma jokes on me, but it's an endless loop of dad jokes

fightme: i m tickled every time i'm reminded

AStarisBorn: Jayden not giving sympathy since day one

AStarisBorn: still love ya though

DollFace: can't believe that lady did that though

DollFace: like... what demon possessed her?

random@itsbest: i don't know but she needs to be exorcised immediately

random@itsbest: like i know my mama wanted nothing more but to punch the lady, but she wouldn't lower herself to that level because she knows that lady isn't going 2 see no good days after that

kevin: i'm angry 4 ur mom

kevin: that was not right

CoffeePlz: u damn right it wasn't!

Ashii: not at all

* * *

fightme: can i just say i'm so glad Kevin doesn't hang around Eiden anymore?

kevin: i'm glad i don't either

kevin: he didn't have that 2 say!

Ashii: where does he live?

CoffeePlz: Ashlynn, no

Ashii: phooey

Ashii: but seriously what did he say?

fightme: so we're in gym class right n the coach decides just let us walk the track for a while before we go out the court n chill for the day

fightme: we're walking the track n Eiden is walking with his goons just a couple of yards behind us but he's speaking loud enough for us 2 hear him

kevin: and once more he's talking so NSFW about Dana

random@itsbest: what is his obsession with me?!

kevin: idk but i want him 2 get it over with

kevin: now he's not just talking about Dana but he brings Amija into the conversation this time

AStarisBorn: OH HELL NO!

fightme: very inappropiate things my gurl

DollFace: he is such a pervert

kevin: def

kevin: so of course jayden n i r uncomfortable hearing his "conversation" n we try 2 ignore it, speeding up 2 put a lot more distance between us becuz we didn't want 2 start anything

kevin: but i guess Eiden wanted us 2 hear what he was saying because it seems like he gets even closer n even more dirty with his words

fightme: at this point some of the others r just as uncomfortable hearing him talk except for the boys listening 2 him n laughing

fightme: at this point, i'm irritated so i stop n tell him as calmly as i can "can u not talk about my friends like that around me?"

fightme: he legit calls me out my name n tells me "how about u put that mouth 2 better use n get on ur knees like a bitch should?" with the dirtiest grin ever and even pushes me!

kevin: the coach saw this n i manage 2 get jayden before she fucks him up

kevin: the good thing that comes out of this that we won't b seeing Eiden for a week at school

random@itsbest: thank the heavens!

AStarisBorn: how can people be so damn disgusting with their sexiest and racist antics?

DollFace: i wish i had an answer

Ashii: don't we all...


	7. Davin

_**CoffeePlz has created chat 'Operation Kevin & Dana' and has added Ashii, DollFace, fightme and AStarisBorn** _

Ashii: the first order of business is getting them a ship name

CoffeePlz: Davin or Devin?

AStarisBorn: Davin, i like that one better

fightme: ooh! sounds like the name of their lovechild

DollFace: who would honestly would b hella hot if they biologically had a kid

DollFace: those genes!

AStarisBorn: Dana takes after both of his parents really well

AStarisBorn: his dad is like... that hot doctor guy that u really want to date but can't because he's ur doctor

fightme: omg

fightme: wait isn't his dad a firefighter?

Ashii: well ig he putting out fires... and not the ones that actually burn u 2 a crisp

CoffeePlz: okay! enough talk about Dana's dad and let's focus on Dana n Kevin, plz?

AStarisBorn: okay

AStarisBorn: so what's the plan to getting those oblivious idiots together?

fightme: how about straight up telling them they should get married?

CoffeePlz: i'm sure that is effective but damn it no, Jayden

Ashii: tricking them into a date?

CoffeePlz: that could work

AStarisBorn: lock them in a closet?!

fightme: no, becuz Dana kicks down doors

fightme: remember that one time he accidently got locked in Sakuri's closet?

AStarisBorn: ... right

DollFace: girls n gent, i know how we should start making them realize they're attracted to each other

DollFace: the lovechild thing gave me an idea

* * *

random@itsbest: if we have realtor's estate... is there anything called faker's estate?

fightme: Dana asking the real questions here

CoffeePlz: i wonder y ppl ask "isn't it 2 early to b eating" n stomaches don't have an opening or closing time

Ashii: or why all old people have that cookie tin can n u hope it's not sewing supplies n actual cookies

AStarisBorn: or how u hold the light switch 2 c if the light stays on or off

kevin: is it random questions day?

random@itsbest: it's random questions day everyday 4 me

kevin: i believe u

DollFace: i have discovered this app where u take pictures of two or more people n see what a child would look like between them n i may have used it on u beautiful peeps

fightme: ooh! who?

DollFace: well first i tried it on u n Ashylnn

Ashii: i want 2 c!

DollFace: Boom! {jashii.jpg}

AStarisBorn: omg, a kid between u 2 would be amazing!

kevin: look at that glory! it's official, ashylnn n jayden would make cute babies

fightme: this i am pleased with

Ashii: same.

DollFace: i named her "Jashii"!

CoffeePlz: she's beautiful

CoffeePlz: that's my future niece right there

fightme: i'm proud of my daughter

* * *

  
**_Ashii > CoffeePLz_ **

Ashii: do u c our daughter? i want 2 cry so much out of the joy in my heart!

CoffeePlz: u r lovestruck

CoffeePlz: it's so cute

Ashii: i can't believe i agreed 2 help u

CoffeePlz: hush now, daughter

Ashii: 😑

* * *

DollFace: i also did Kevin n Dana

DollFace: n boy is their kid hot!

AStarisBorn: ooh! i wanna c!

random@itsbest: plz share!

DollFace: {davin.jpg}

DollFace: isn't he hot?!

kevin: omg

fightme: i'm questioning my sexuality now

Ashii: Dana... Kevin... ya'll need 2 have kids

random@itsbest: my kid is hot!

random@itsbest: i can't believe that's my genes with Kevin's!

kevin: um, dana, plz bear my kids in the future?

random@itsbest: happily!

* * *

**_kevin > AStarisBorn_ **

kevin: no seriously he needs 2 have my kids

kevin: i adore him!

AStarisBorn: i can tell

kevin: he's so adorable n sweet n i want 2 protect him with my life

AStarisBorn: if u n him hook up n i have a feeling he's in good hands

kevin: u have faith in me?

AStarisBorn: i think u would b a good boyfriend becuz u r as a person, my guy

kevin: thx, Amija

AStarisBorn: i only say truth

* * *

CoffeePlz: ooh! Speaking of kids, i found out some news!

DollFace: ur officially adopting Ashlynn? got those adoption papers?

Ashii: becuz that would b the bomb.com

CoffeePlz: srry 2 disappoint

CoffeePlz: but no

CoffeePlz: still open 2 it

CoffeePlz: anyways, my mom n dad gave me permission 2 tell you this.

CoffeePlz: i'm having a baby sister!

DollFace: omg, congrats, my guy!

fightme: Nat isn't going 2 b an only child anymore!

AStarisBorn: whoo! 🎉🎉🎉

kevin: congrats, Nat!

Ashii: a baby sister? aaaawww!

CoffeePlz: honestly i'm fine with having 1. can't wait 2 threaten any potential suitors of any gender

random@itsbest: she will b proud 2 call u her big brother

DollFace: i would know that feeling

DollFace: i got 3

Ashii: u got three older bros?

DollFace: yup, only girl

fightme: i have an older sister

AStarisBorn: only child, though my dads said i can adopt a dog

random@itsbest: same!

Ashii: i have a baby brother

kevin: i'm an only child

CoffeePlz: so three of us are only kids n the other four have siblings

kevin: crazy, isn't it?

DollFace: as crazy as how hot a kid u n Dana would make

random@itsbest: can we not?

fightme: no! u n kevin make hot kids

fightme: might as well hook up

kevin: hm. Dana Hale... i like it

random@itsbest: what if i didn't want 2 take ur last name? what if i wanted u 2 b Kevin Renders?

kevin: how about we hyphenate? 🙂

random@itsbest: we could do... but i would take ur last name though

kevin: ur gonna make me the happiest man alive

Ashii: ur seriously discussing last names?

kevin: it's important!

random@itsbest: important, Miss Ashlynn!

random@itsbest: we're pre-spouses!

random@itsbest: with a metaphorically hot kid!

random@itsbest: so hush!

Ashii: by all means continue

* * *

**CHAT - OPERATION - DAVIN!!**

CoffeePlz: yeah i changed the title

CoffeePlz: now let's discuss

Ashii: it's official

AStarisBorn: they both have the hots 4 each other

fightme: they know they should b together becuz they're talking about taking each other's last names n having kids!

DollFace: honestly I'm impressed


	8. Iconic Teach & New Member

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Introducing a new character here!

fightme: i knew i made the right choice 2 stans Mrs. K! she is so badass!

AStarisBorn: best art teacher ever!

kevin: i don't have her class, but i seen her around

fightme: she's really awesome n sometimes her hubby comes n drops off lunch 2 her

random@itsbest: that is amazing. relationship goals.

fightme: even better what she did today!

DollFace: spill the tea, sis

AStarisBorn: apparently, we have a new kid in the school, freshman

AStarisBorn: their name is Briar

AStarisBorn: n Mrs. K allowed them 2 introduce themselves 2 us, right, Mr. K being there at the time

fightme: when they said that they're genderfluid so today they preferred neutral pronouns today, one jackass goes "but u look like a girl, so shouldn't u go by female pronouns?"

fightme: Mrs. K immediately goes to him n says "miss, i'm going to need u to be more respectful"

AStarisBorn: n the jackass is all like "i'm not a miss! i am male!"

AStarisBorn: n Mrs. K then says "well, same way u don't like being misgendered, they don't like being misgendered. if they want 2 go by neutral pronouns they're going by neutral pronouns. if u don't like it, u can walk out."

fightme: Mr. K looked so proud of his wife!

random@itsbest: well that was so awesome of her to do!

fightme: right?

AStarisBorn: me n Jayden also made friends with Briar

AStarisBorn: they're so precious

fightme: Briar is sitting with us at lunch

DollFace: i don't mind

Ashii: same

CoffeePlz: is this another child this mom friend can adopt?

fightme: u'll love them

kevin: ooh! i met Briar this morning!

kevin: i helped them 2 class

random@itsbest: that's sweet of u

kevin: they looked so timid n i didn't like seeing them so lost

Ashii: kevin is a saint

kevin: my parents raised me right

* * *

random@itsbest: we got 2 add Briar 2 the chat!

fightme: already on it

_**fightme has added Hayyy to the chat** _

fightme: boom! everyone welcome the newest member 2 our chat squad Briar!

AStarisBorn: hey, Briar!

kevin: hi, Briar!

randomitsbest: hey, Briar!

DollFace: sup, Briar?

CoffeePlz: hi, Briar!

Ashii: how u doing Briar?

Hayyy: thx 4 the welcome

Hayyy: n 4 having me at lunch 2day

Hayy: ur all pretty cool

AStarisBorn: so r u

fightme: i can't believe ur a musician

Hayyy: n also dance

Hayyy: kinda thing i picked up from my sister

CoffeePlz: amazingness

random@itsbest: btw

random@itsbest: i'm Dana

kevin: i'm Kevin

DollFace: which is obvious

DollFace: i'm Sakuri

AStarisBorn: Amija

Ashii: Ashlynn

CoffeePlz: Nat!

fightme: n Jayden! 😎

Hayyy: again, nice 2 meet u all

random@itsbest: ur obviously apart of this squad, this fam

Hayyy: thx!

Hayyy: glad i was able 2 make friends on my first day here

AStarisBorn: well we hate 2 have u deal with the ignorance of people alone

fightme: btw, srry 4 that dude's rudeness

Hayyy: it's fine

Hayyy: Mrs. K was pretty cool 4 defending me

DollFace: Amija's fave teacher

Hayyy: i can c y

Hayyy: never really had a teacher defend me like that

AStarisBorn: Mrs. K is one of those no nonsense ppl

AStarisBorn: she doesn't tolerate that racism and phobia bullshit

AStarisBorn: n somehow she always has Nutella like on hand

Hayyy: yeah, i'm going 2 enjoy having her class

random@itsbest: u r

DollFace: ooh! btw, track tryouts r coming up soon n i was wondering if u all r showing up 2 give support

CoffeePlz: of course, Sakuri!

fightme: yus!

AStarisBorn: i'm preparing my Sakuri Team t-shirt now

kevin: i'll b there

random@itsbest: same!

Ashii: u don't even have 2 ask

Hayyy: i'll be there 2

DollFace: i stans all of u

AStarisBorn: i am pretty amazing

kevin: so am i

random@itsbest: yus u r, kevin

kevin: thank u, Dana

random@itsbest: well I mean it, kev

kevin: hope u know u r pretty amazing 2

random@itsbest: omg 😆

kevin: i'm serious. ur also pretty cute.

random@itsbest: kevin! 😊

kevin: i mean that 😉

CoffeePlz: alright, kiddies

* * *

  
_**Hayyy > AStarisBorn** _

Hayyy: ok, what's up with kevin n dana?

AStarisBorn: what do u mean by that, sweetie?

Hayyy: they seem awfully... close

Hayyy: like at lunch today, they sat really close 2 each other

Hayyy: n just now

Hayyy: r they dating?

AStarisBorn: oh we wish

AStarisBorn: we r aware they're crushing on each other, but neither thinks the same way

Hayyy: wow

AStarisBorn: we're trying 2 push that a little

AStarisBorn: want 2 help?

Hayyy: YES!!

* * *

  
_**AStarisBorn has added Hayyy to chat 'OPERATION - DAVIN!'**_

AStarisBorn: everyone say hi 2 our new member of Team Davin

Hayyy: hello

CoffeePlz: u c it 2, don't u?

Hayyy: i've only known u all 4 a couple of hours, but they r super oblivious

Hayyy: they're not dating already?

fightme: nope

fightme: sad isn't it?

Hayyy: they'd make a cute couple

DollFace: someone understands us

Ashii: Briar, welcome 2 the club


	9. Anime & Birds

Hayyy: i'm feeling a girl kinda day so female pronouns today

DollFace: alright, Briar

random@itsbest: cool, Briar

kevin: understood, Bri

kevin: can i call u that?

Hayyy: sure, i don't mind

CoffeePlz: any1 cn my blue hoodie? kind of a grayish shade?

AStarisBorn: u left it at my house

CoffeePlz: can u bring it 2 school? i want 2 wear it 2day

AStarisBorn: copy that, captain!

fightme: speaking of lost things

fightme: i'm missing my nintendo. did i leave it anywhere at any of ur houses?

Ashii: wait, u play on an nintendo?

fightme: ... yes

Ashii: that is freaking awesome n adorable

random@itsbest: it is becuz whenever she's on it, she has the biggest, cutest grin ever

fightme: i didn't sign up 4 this exposure!

random@itsbest: yus u did my child

fightme: FIGHT ME!

Hayyy: i love u guys

random@itsbest: love u 2, girl

* * *

CoffeePlz: y did i skip out on a frappe this morning?

DollFace: becuz ur an idiot?

CoffeePlz: i would disagree, but i won't

CoffeePlz: that damn jerk is back

fightme: oh shit

random@itsbest: NNNNOOOOO!!!!

kevin: Dana, u have me

random@itsbest: i feel better now :)

Ashii: oh hell

AStarisBorn: i need 2 find a way 2 get him expelled or something

AStarisBorn: he better stay away if he knows what is good 4 him

Hayyy: i m confusion

random@itsbest: i adore u 4 using that meme

random@itsbest: so the jerk we're referring 2 is Eiden

CoffeePlz: major jerk, major

Ashii: has a thing 4 Dana apparently n it's gross

random@itsbest: very

fightme: n i want 2 fight him 24/7

kevin: ur better off not knowing him

Hayyy: noted

Hayyy: btw, Jayden, did u find ur nintendo?

fightme: I did! it was in my locker!

CoffeePlz: woohoo!

fightme: also, can we all appreciate how beautiful Briar looks today?

Hayyy: thank you!

AStarisBorn: eyeliner on point today!

random@itsbest: which u n Jayden needs improvement on!

fightme: in the gym after school

random@itsbest: i joke

Ashii: u don't mind if i take pics of u, Briar? i'm putting together an album

Hayyy: i don't mind, Ashlynn, thanks 4 asking

Ashii: ur apart of our group now 

Ashii: u will have 2 endure the crazy

Hayyy: i m fine with that

random@itsbest: sweeties n softies 

random@itsbest: i just saw the funniest shit ever

DollFace: omg, yus! it was fucking hilarious!

CoffeePlz: what's up?

DollFace: a bird flew into the classroom just as our teacher came in, landed on his desk, starts squawking at him n then flew right back out the window

random@itsbest: the teacher was "nope. not today. i am not dealing with these damn birds today."

fightme: i feel. i hate birds

Hayyy: i'll bite... why?

fightme: my grandma used to have this bird that always squawked at me whenever i came around it

fightme: eventually it got 2 the point i would eat any form of poultry in front it 2 send a message

fightme: my grandmother gave it away a few days later 2 a neighbor

kevin: plz tell me u really weren't going 2 eat the bird. i love animals

fightme: i wasn't going 2 eat it...

fightme: maybe

kevin: JAYDEN!

fightme: i kid!

kevin: i know

* * *

Hayyy: okay, i just realized that Jayden n Amija r wearing anime shirts today

fightme: well planned on catching some soon so...

AStarisBorn: i found my tee this morning!!! i'm so happy!!

kevin: what anime?

DollFace: Amija is wearing...

DollFace: this that a yugioh tee?!

AStarisBorn: why yes it is

CoffeePlz: Amija is a fan

AStarisBorn: why yes i m

random@itsbest: i didn't know that

AStarisBorn: i literally grew up with yugioh

fightme: favorite protag?

AStarisBorn: why i gotta choose?

fightme: have to

AStarisBorn: okay, fine

AStarisBorn: yugi, always yugi first

AStarisBorn: n then yusei because he's relatable

Hayyy: i've heard of yugioh but haven't seen it

AStarisBorn: well that has 2 change!!

fightme: anime marathon?

AStarisBorn: anime marathon

DollFace: wait, which yugi? like actual yugi or yami yugi

AStarisBorn: actual yugi becuz he's adorable n that glow up was just a blessing

AStarisBorn: n he has his badass moments

AStarisBorn: the second time he solved the puzzle it took a mere few minutes while he was in a burning building!!!

random@itsbest: #respectyugi2019

fightme: yus!

CoffeePlz: what kind of anime shirt r u wearing, btw, Jay?

fightme: it actually has a lot of anime on it

fightme: some girl just asked me did i watch anime n i told i did

fightme: n then she was like "like those magical girl animes?"

fightme: i told her "any really. but i favor action animes."

AStarisBorn: i came up n went "like dragon ball z"

AStarisBorn: she then said "u don't look like the type"

AStarisBorn: then i said "I watch anime."

fightme: then she told Amija "u don't look like the type either"

fightme: so i glared at her and asked her what type

fightme: she actually said "well... ur girls..."

AStarisBorn: and i went "yes. i have the boobs."

AStarisBorn: ig that she figured whatever she said next would get a stupid response becuz she just walks off

kevin: i'm glad i'm friends with u 2

AStarisBorn: why thank u good sir

DollFace: unfortunately enough, becuz i'm japanese some1 legit thought i would watch anime 24/7 n when i told i don't watch anime like that he was shocked

DollFace: like dude

Hayyy: this group is the group that breaks stereotypes

Hayyy: i love it

fightme: btw, this guy had heard our convo and told amija "i like anime 2. cool shirt btw"

fightme: i've never seen Amija get so giddy

AStarisBorn: stop exposing me

CoffeePlz: wat does he look like?

fightme: low cut, a bit darker than u, taller than amija by like 3 inches, i think he's on the track team

fightme: sweet guy, cute 2

fightme: he's wearing a red hoodie and jeans 2day. i think his name is Donovan

Ashii: ooh! i know him!

Ashii: yeah, he's a pretty cool guy

Ashii: shame his ex cheated on him with the football captain

AStarisBorn: what?! no, he's so nice though n a gentleman

random@itsbest: also how do u know this?

Ashii: i talk 2 him from time 2 time

Ashii: he's the guy u can hold a conversation with for hours

fightme: i was getting good vibes from him

Ashii: u should, he's awesome

CoffeePlz: sounds like u have a crush

Ashii: ur funny. no.

CoffeePlz: i know ;)

Ashii: he's like a big bro though

Ashii: if anything he would be the perfect guy 4 Amija

AStarisBorn: hey Jayden, Briar, anime marathon at my house after school

Ashii: u know i'm right

* * *

DollFace: the fucking bird returned into the class again!!

random@itsbest: we don't have that class right now

DollFace: i was taking some papers 2 that class

DollFace: the bird swooped in, picked up one of those dry erase markers and flew right out

kevin: what the teacher do?

DollFace: his actual reaction "glad that was the dried out one. otherwise i'm eating pigeon 2night."

fightme: my hero

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually do like the Yu-Gi-Oh series. It was one of the first animes I've watched along with Pokemon. Since I was a toddler. My favorite protagonist? Yes, it is Yugi and then Yusei because he is relatable. 
> 
> I'll be making aesthetics for these characters later and have them posted on my Tumblr and here. Soon, actual paragraphs will be added to this story.


	10. Crushes & Memes!

Ashii: remember Donovan?

AStarisBorn: no!!!

CoffeePlz: let me guess, Amija is crushing on him?

AStarisBorn: shut your whore mouth!!

random@itsbest: she's crushing

AStarisBorn: i'm crushing ur soul

random@itsbest: joke's on u, i have no soul

kevin: i beg 2 differ, angel

DollFace: u broke him, Kevin. he's blushing right now

random@itsbest: shut ur fucking mouth

kevin: Dana

random@itsbest: no, we're not doing that!

random@itsbest: back 2 amija n her boy crush

AStarisBorn: i c u in the hall any time 2day i'm swinging

random@itsbest: love u 2 sis

Ashii: anywho! guess what happened just now!

DollFace: i'm guessing Don said something sweet 2 Amija n she melted?

Ashii: that's pretty much the gist

AStarisBorn: okay this is wat happened

AStarsiBorn: this kid was running in the hall n he bumped into this girl. i guess she thought it was me n yelled "watch it, you fat---" n before she finish that i said "yes. i am fat. fluffy and tough. fun and terrific. fabulous and thicc, with 2 c's. fangirling and tired. thank u for pointing out the obvious, miss sunshine."

Ashii: she just stared off after Amija when she walked away and Donovan turned 2 me and said "she is amazing." n when i told Amija what he said she started squealing

AStarisBorn: it's no big deal! u guys know how timid I can be sometimes when some1 compliments me!

CoffeePlz: we do it all the time

AStarisBorn: becuz u all r my besties so i'm used 2 it

Hayyy: but when Donovan does it

AStarisBorn: shut up!

kevin: how adorable

AStarisBorn: kevin, sweetie, i love u but i will fight u 2

fightme: don is right though. Amija is amazing

fightme: like u r such a cool girl

AStarisBorn: thank u ❤

AStarisBorn: trying 2 wrap my head around y that girl decided 2 try 2 call out my weight. like sure i'm on the heavy side but i'm hella proud of it

DollFace: i think you're beautiful 2, girl

CoffeePlz: that's my bestie!

random@itsbest: amija is a queen

AStarisBorn: ur all making me blush 😊

fightme: we're all not Donovan, sweetie

AStarisBorn: ur all doomed now

* * *

fightme: i forgot how much of a meme master Mr. Henderson is

Hayyy: n who is that?

DollFace: he's the creative writing teacher. cool dude he is

fightme: he also agrees with me that bulbasaur is the cutest pokemon

kevin: that's why he's ur fave

fightme: that's why he's my fave

Ashii: what did he do?

fightme: well i walked into class today and said "i'm feeling like a 'fre sh a voca do' kinda day". he turned 2 me and said "i'm more of a 'excuse my potty mouth' today. just a warning"

fightme: n we both just smirked n nodded while everyone else was just "???"

DollFace: it was hilarious

kevin: i had him 2 years ago n i swear now that i know u n dana, i would say u 2 r his clones

random@itsbest: becuz Mr. Hendy knows what's up

random@itsbest: he's fam

kevin: n what am i?

random@itsbest: bae

kevin: i'll accept

* * *

**CHAT - OPERATION - DAVIN!!**

Hayyy: if those 2 don't hook up already!

DollFace: ur telling me!

Ashii: i will personally take Dana to find his wedding dress so he can marry Kevin like now!

AStarisBorn: i'll take Kevin 4 his tux

fightme: u think i can get Mrs. K on this? she even ships them

Ashii: i'll bite... how does she know about this?

fightme: remember how we were hanging out in the art room before last period the other day n kevin and dana were in their own little world? Mrs. K legit went "i ship that"

Hayyy: we need 2 recruit Mrs. K

CoffeePlz: yus

* * *

fightme: i just realized that Briar is the only freshman in our group

Hayyy: i'm the baby!

AStarisBorn: dana, nathan n i r juniors

Ashii: jayden, sakuri n me r sophomores

kevin: n i'm the only senior here!

CoffeePlz: dude...

kevin: okay unfair

random@itsbest: yus it is

random@itsbest: now it's a 'this house is a fucking nightmare' kinda day

fightme: more like a 'welcome back 2 me screaming'

kevin: when i graduate i'm still coming back 2 the school just so i can eat lunch with u guys

random@itsbest: this is why ur bae

DollFace: like Donnie is Amija's?

AStarisBorn: aaannnnndddd i thought i was in the clear


End file.
